The Pastor and His Divorce

Any time we apply for a job or a duty, there are qualifications that we must meet. If you want to be a lawyer, you need a law degree and you need to pass the Bar exam. If you want to be a soldier, then you need to be 18 or older, have no past felonies or drug use, and be below a certain weight.

Now this begs the question: what are the qualifications of a pastor? Typically when this question is asked, there are two passages of scripture that people tend to turn to. They are:

1 Timothy 3:1-7 It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. 2 An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. 4 He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity 5 (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), 6 and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. 7 And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

And:

Titus 1:6-9 if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion. 7 For the overseer must be above reproach as God's steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, 8 but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled, 9 holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict.

There are many things in these passages we could discuss, but for our discussion today, I would like to focus on that one phrase "the husband of one wife." What does this mean? Does that mean that a pastor cannot be divorced? Or does it mean something else?

For the sake of discussion, I will show my cards early – I do believe that this means that a divorced man is indeed disqualified for pastoral ministry.

Now I know the first argument that people usually raise against this interpretation. They will say "Oh no, these passages don’t forbid divorce, they forbid polygamy – having more than one wife at a time." And no, that is simply not true.

Let’s consider the context that Paul was writing in for a moment. Paul was writing to Timothy & Titus, both of whom were living and ministering within a Roman context. They were in the Roman empire, and bound by Roman laws, and one law that the Romans were very serious about was that there was to be no polygamy in Roman lands – it was strictly forbidden, in fact, it was a capital offence. The Romans were so serious about their ban on Polygamy, that in 34 BC when Mark Antony, a member of the Roman Triumvirate, went to Egypt to marry Cleopatra, the Roman Senate clamored for war if he did not first divorce his Roman wife. If you were subject to Roman laws, you were married to one woman at a time – there simply was no polygamy, and if there was, you had better make sure that no one found out about it.
With this in mind, why on earth would Paul write to Timothy and Titus, warning them against polygamy? The answer is that he wasn’t, he was writing to warn them against divorce, which was a major problem in the Roman Empire. In fact, some estimate that the divorce rate in the Roman Empire was somewhere around 80-85%.

Given the context of Paul’s writing it is fairly easy to deduce that Paul is not arguing that pastors should only have one wife at a time. Instead, he is arguing that they should only have one wife – period.

Another argument against my position is that it somehow cheapens Christ’s atonement. The question is asked, "What if a person was divorced before they got saved? What if after they were saved they felt called to be a pastor? If Christ has forgiven them, shouldn’t we?" At first this argument sounds very noble and holy, but on a closer examination it turns very hollow. First off, who is arguing that Christ’s atonement cannot cover a divorcee? I have yet to see that argument made, and I am certainly not making it here. We’re not talking about salvation here; we’re talking about qualification for service. The one thing that people forget when they make this argument is that while sins may be forgiven, they still have consequences. I have seen drunks find a wonderful salvation in Christ – which was followed by years of struggle with alcohol and its physical side effects. I have seen people hit the bottom of the barrel in jail, only to turn and trust in Christ – but that doesn’t mean that they should then just be let go. At the same time, yes a person can be divorced and forgiven – but that doesn’t mean that they are qualified for service. You may feel some inner turmoil over this, and believe me I can understand it – this argument almost moved me away from the no divorce position. But Christ’s forgiveness of sin does not alone qualify one for service, and if you don’t believe me then just wait until the ex-pedophile comes to your church wanting to serve in your children’s ministry.

Finally, the question must be asked, why is this such a big deal? Why would God not allow divorcees to serve as pastors? I believe the answer lies in the phrase "must be above reproach." If you will notice, divorce is not the only sin that disqualifies a man from pastoral ministry. These passages are clear that a pastor should not have any serious, public, ongoing sin in their lives. A person may be greedy in life, but if they want to be a pastor, then they must expunge that sin from their lives, and stop loving money. A person may be an alcoholic in life, but if they want to be a pastor, then they have got to turn away from that sin, and stop being addicted to wine. And herein we find the problem with divorce. If you are divorced, you cannot turn away from that sin, and stop being divorced. Once you’re divorced, you will continue in that sin for the rest of your life.* You may remarry, but that does not change the fact that you are divorced. You may get saved, but that does not change the fact that you are still divorced. Divorce by its very nature is a serious, public, ongoing sin. And any serious, public, ongoing sin in a person’s life disqualifies him for the pastoral ministry.

*Disclaimer: You can actually stop being divorced. This is done by going back to your wife, being reconciled to her, and remarrying her. I have a friend who has seen this in his own life. He was divorced, got saved, and came to realize how bad he had been to his wife. He went to his then ex-wife to be reconciled; she forgave him, and because neither had remarried, were able to restore their marriage to each other. Today he serves as a pastor, and Biblically speaking does so with integrity, as he has lived up to Paul’s call on the pastor to be the husband of just one wife.